Three For One

We're going to go ahead and do Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas all in one post because I'm so efficient....or a slacker....one of the two.

Here we have a Secret Service Agent, a Baby, and folks, he's back again for another year in a row...Mike Wazowski.

A little Thanksgiving fun in a pumpkin patch....

"Skipping Hippo" at his preschool Thanksgiving Feast. (Of course it would be my kid who would come up with "Skipping Hippo.")

Here's Carter at his Thanksgiving Pie Taste Testing Party at school. (Our chocolate creme pie with graham cracker crust won by the way...hoo hoo ha ha ha!)

Finally, a little bit of Christmas...we have a family tradition of making gingerbread houses every year.

Here's Taylor playing "Jingle Bells" on our $78.00 piano that I LOVE. (You heard me right...$78.00!)

Taylor set up a nice little registration table for Santa with a tissue paper table cloth, letters, cookies & a centerpiece.

Below are a few pictures of Christmas morning. I have no idea why I have no pictures of Carter. Perhaps he wasn't there? I will have to put a fake one in because once again I am a slacker.

And the best Christmas present of all....a visit from Great Grandma Reel from Dallas, Texas! The kids adore her.

Our yearly four-generation picture...

And that's all folks. Hopefully in 2010 I can become a better blogger. :)

Too Bad for Joseph!

Here's a conversation Tate's pwhetty pwheschool teacher shared with me.

Teacher: ....and then Mary and Joseph had to travel all the way to Bethlehem! It was a really long journey. Mary rode on the donkey and Joseph walked....

Tate: Too bad for Joseph!

Yeah...too bad he wasn't 9 months pregnant riding a donkey.

Merry Christmas 2009

2009 Nikolaus Family Top Ten

10. Over-scheduling: baseball, soccer, gymnastics, Scouts, piano, preschool, church activities, softball, races and occasional sleep.

9. Taylor’s Thoroughness: Don’t forget if you visit her room to sign-in on her color-coded white board attached to her door. You can also read her word of the week and her insightful “Taylor Tip of the Month.” (i.e. October’s Tip: Never super-glue your hand to the phone.)

8. Carter’s Loyalty to His Clothing: He wears the same black suit EVERY SUNDAY, the same gray Underarmour shirt twice a week, and the same Show Low Cougars baseball hat at every outing...and yes he does have other clothes.

7. Casanova Tate: He had a thing for his “pwhetty” swim teacher and his “pwhetty pwheschool” teacher. He also says that when he marries his friend Madelynn, he’ll get them a limo, and she’ll make him Eggos for breakfast.

6. Park City Vacation: visited family & friends, temple square, saw the Mormon Tab perform, hiked Timpanogas cave, did the Alpine slide, and took some amazing pictures for life-long memories...then I accidentally erased all of them. Uh-oh.

5. Cultural Arts Appreciation: We went to Wicked as a family. (Note to Self: Should have brought Kleenex for our high-elevation nose bleeds. )

4. Endurance: Our 2000 Isuzu Rodeo WILL...NOT... DIE! Will somebody pleeeeeease make it die?!?

3. Perspective: Being 30-something is completely underrated. The muffin-top and spare-tire have seriously never looked so good.

2. Milestone: Carter was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. We are so proud of our handsome, sweet boy.

1. Knowledge: With the loss of our sweet baby Crew in August, we can testify to all that the Lord is with us in all of our hardships, and that because of Him, we will have the opportunity to be reunited as a family for all eternity.

Each year we become more grateful in our hearts for our dear friends and family. Thank you for touching our lives in 2009. Merry Christmas!

Willy, Leslie, Taylor (9), Carter (8) and Tate (4) Nikolaus

Brief Moments

There has not been a day that has gone by since August 6th that my heart hasn't ached for our Baby Crew. Yes, with each passing day the memory stings a little less, but the hole is still there and will always be. He was my child, and I miss him every single day. I am forever changed in many aspects...the good and the bad.

I would be having little Crew this month and pictured him with us at Christmas. I've been dreading this month for the fear of the unknown.

Perspective is a powerful thing. The day before Thanksgiving I was walking out of Carter's school party and an overwhelming feeling of gratitude filled me. As I was walking to my car, tears filled my eyes as I felt so blessed....blessed to have had the opportunity to carry Crew for that 19 weeks. I felt him move inside of me. I saw a glimpse of his personality on several ultra sounds. I held him. I talked to him. I kissed his forehead. I told him that I loved him and that I'd see him again. It was a gift to be able to say good-bye and to know that he was my child. It was the purest gratitude, and I'm thankful to have felt it for that brief moment.

I wish I could always have that feeling. I wish I was a big fatso with back labor and swollen ankles. I wish I could hold him again right now. I wish I could watch him grow. I wish a lot of things.

But I know that this pain is necessary, and as much as I hurt, I know Heavenly Father knows what He is doing. This pain has helped me understand the Savior more. He endured my pain along with everyone else's. He is an example in every way. When He was in the Garden, He called out to His Father for help. I believe another reason for this was to show us where to go when we are broken and in need of help only God can give.

Perspective is key. I will try to hold onto those brief moments of clarity and recognize the source. As I look at attributes of the Savior...courage, humility, charity...I know that through His example, He can guide us to peace.

Going Private

In Jan. 2010 I will be going private. Email me at wlnikolaus@msn.com if you want an invite or just leave a comment.

Me and the Naked Lady

Lately I've been enjoying the sauna at my gym. After my workout, I will spend 10-20 minutes in the sauna...thinking, relaxing, excreting the toxins from my body. It's very nice, and I feel great afterwards.

Today in the sauna it was me and the naked lady. She was stark-naked...nadda...in the raw...except for her flip-flops. HUH? Here's what I don't get...the North and South were fully exposed, yet she felt the need for flip-flops. Why? Don't get it.

Here's another thing I don't get. Why do people think they can walk around the locker room au natural? If you have to change your clothes or take a shower, that's a different story. That's what locker rooms are for. But why prance around the locker room naked? USE A TOWEL! Even worse is the sauna.

Back to naked lady...so I walk in the sauna and just gasped. It's not like I haven't seen the upstairs and downstairs of a naked lady before. Afterall, I, myself, am a lady. Heck, I see naked ladies all the time in the locker room. The weird thing was that it was just she and I in the sauna. Yep, just me and the naked lady. It's a first for me...sitting next to a naked lady...so casually. It just kind of summons an awkward moment.

Do I look at her? If I don't, it will be obvious that I'm feeling weird. However, if I do acknowledge her, is she going to think I'm staring at her, checking her out? Is that what she wants? I guess I could have just left, but I wanted to relax! So, I sat huddled in a fetal position in the corner realizing that there would be no possible way to relax with a naked lady lying down right in front of me! I decided to just close my eyes and go to that "special place."

I know you are wondering 2 things.
1) Did I look at her? Of course I did. Curiosity always kills the cat.
2) Was she a hot girl? No. She should never have been naked.

Tate's Worst Nightmare

Yep. That's her...Tate's worst nightmare. You may recognize Yzma from The Emperor's New Groove. It just cracks me up that Tate is so scared of her. How can he be scared of this cartoon purple, skinny lady? He's even turned to a Higher Power in his prayers and asked for help to not dream of Yzma. He doesn't blink an eye at Darth Vader, Darth Maul, or the dude on Indiana Jones who rips a man's heart out. I don't get it. Yzma???

Welcome to My World

Carter and Tate were sitting down at the table tonight doing some homework. Carter was working on his math, and Tate was practicing writing his name. I was lucky enough to witness this hilarious yet insightful conversation between the two of them.

Tate (under his breath): Ahhhh, this is so boring.

Carter (monotone): Welcome to my world.

Tate: Man, this is reduckulous.

Looks like they have it pretty much figured out. That's all. The End. Good-bye.

Let's Pretend It Is Still the First Day of School...

Can my little girl really be in 4th grade? Taylor is one of those kids that looks forward to school and often requests additional homework. Huh??? (I'll give you a few seconds to recover.)Summer is entirely too boring for her. The day before school started she couldn't even fall asleep because she was so excited. You would've thought it was Christmas Eve for crying out loud. She just LOVES school that much.

Here's my little stud boy getting ready for his 3rd grade year. Carter likes school too...however, he likes SEVERAL things more than school. He's a busy little guy this year playing baseball, soccer and going to Scouts. He is tuckered out when he gets home but still the sweetest kid ever.

Tate and I are really missing these two chicken nuggets during the day. It's always a happy time when they walk in the door. They are really growing up. As much as I try to savor the moments, I am in constant awe of their growth, development and transformation into the wonderful little people they are becoming. Being a mom has got to be the best gift I could ever think of.

First Day of Preschool

It was Tate's first day of preschool today. No, it is not his preschool setting in the background...that would be my preschool. If you'll remember, he has been expelled from my preschool. Instead he is going 3 days a week to Miss Juliette--and he is one excited, grown-up little boy. Except for that he loves his whoobie (or ragged piece of material).

I did let him know that he could NOT bring "Whoobie" to preschool. He is saying his final good-bye for the day. One day I'm going to do a post on just Whoobie.

Here he is getting out of his sweet ride.

Note to self: Next year refrain from the Crystal Light Fruit Punch.

Who knew I was going to miss my little companion so much? I flippin' love this kid.

Labors of Love

Flowers, cards, emails, texts, yummy dinners and goodies, help with kids, visits, thoughtful gifts, words of comfort, cleaning ladies sent over to clean my house (which started as a gift given by my friend Julie, but will now be a monthly bill for Willy...it was just too great), flowers planted along my walkway by Annie and Jen, all of the many prayers offered in our behalf...thank you all.

August 6th - Crew's Day

Yesterday we lost our sweet baby. He was born at 19 1/2 weeks on August 6th. We have been calling him Crew, and we will continue to do so. He is our Crew, and he was precious.

We came home from the hospital last night. Sleep felt so good. When I woke up early this morning, panic set in and the pain from the previous day picked up right where it left off from the night before. I so wanted to go back to sleep but couldn't.

I could write all of this in my own journal because it is so personal, but I don't care. This is about our family, and it is real, and I honor Crew Nikolaus with this post. I am doing this for a much needed outlet for myself and for my family.

The last 2 days have reached pain beyond my imagination. I have always believed that the Lord does not give us anything more than we can bare. Although I still know that deep down, I have questioned it many times in the last 24 hours. Right now this feels like so much more than I can bare.

Having said that, I am aware of the outpouring of love that surrounds me as well as my family. Family and friends have been answers to my heart's silent prayers in the last 2 days. In this grief, I have felt my Father in Heaven's love for me and know that He is real. I was sitting in the hospital bed yesterday crying and searching for things in my head that I knew and that made sense to me. I am going to record those things that spoke to my heart because I don't want to forget them, and I know I may as time passes.

1. Love is a husband who spends 28 hours by his wife's side in a hospital room, who is able to give her a blessing of healing and comfort, whose touch on her leg speaks words of love and assurance....and through his own grief, he finds the strength to be what she needs.

2. Willy and I have been privileged to have 3 beautiful miracles walking on this earth. Sweet Taylor, Carter and Tate. What blessings they are in our lives. There is a new fight/resolve in my heart to be a better mom, to love them more, and to make sure they know what I know about the Plan of Salvation and who Jesus Christ really is. I know that there will be a day when we are joined by our little Crew, and my heart can't wait.

3. Families pull together during times like these. My sweet sister, Jenny, stayed with the kids Wednesday and Thursday and loved them like no other. I have felt tremendous love from my parents, Bryan & Rachel, Jeff, and all of my in-laws. I have felt their prayers, and I love each of them.

4. Heavenly Father sends strength and love to those in need through His angels on earth. A week ago at my ultrasound when we found out something could be wrong, they scheduled me to see a specialist. The soonest they could get me in anywhere was 2 weeks...it seemed like a lifetime to wait and worry. However, I was able to have an ultrasound on Wednesday the 5th by my dear friend, Jenn. It was with Jenn that we discovered that the potential bad news learned the previous week had turned into horrifying news...Crew had no heartbeat. His chord had become twisted and kinked, and he was not getting food. I CANNOT even imagine sharing that horrendous moment with a stranger. How blessed I feel that I could cry with a friend whom I love. Again, there is no doubt that it was my Heavenly Father's hand. He did not allow me to go through that with a stranger.

5. I came home from that awful afternoon and pulled into the garage. Not even 2 minutes later there was a knock on my door from our Bishop. He listened and gave words of comfort that I know came from above...and looking back, were crucial to that exact moment.

6. Dear, dear friends are invaluable. I've had visits, dinners, emails, babysitting offers, phone calls and countless texts from loved ones that have lifted me if but for a moment. There are no words to describe the gratitude I feel for that as well as the comfort in knowing help is out there.

7. At the hospital, I was in the absolute best care possible....Dr. Huish, my two incredible nurses, Toni and Rakay, my amazing anesthesiologist, Barbara, were unbelievably incredible and understanding and heaven-sent.

8. Lastly, and this is the hardest...this was by far my most difficult pregnancy. I was sick like I've never been, even up until the night before delivery. And, this has been by far the most painful and difficult experience I have faced in my whole life. What I do know though is that I would do it all again for the opportunity to help give Crew's heavenly spirit a body. I LOVE him. We love him.

I didn't know how I was going to cope and make it through the last 24 hours, but it happened. I really don't know how I am going to make it through today, tomorrow or next week either, but I know that somehow it will happen. I know that I am not alone, and that I'm being watched over. And that, is the most priceless knowledge.

Update on Miss Taylor

During 1st grade she decided that she wanted to sell cookies to raise money for Make-a-Wish Foundation. This summer she decided she wanted to do it again. The girl has sold 19 dozen cookies to family, friends and neighbors. She charges $4 dozen - sugar cookies, chocolate chip and peanut butter. She contacted everyone herself with homemade flyers, emails and phone calls. She would keep selling if I'd let her, but I told her she has to catch up on all her orders first! She is now at the point where she can make the cookies all herself (thank the heavens above), and I just get them in and out of the oven. Although I feel like we have cookies coming out of our ying-yangs, I am very proud of her.



In May she had her first piano recital. She played "You'll Be in My Heart" from Tarzan. She's coming along very nicely...now we just need to buy a piano! The keyboard ain't cuttin' it anymore!

She also had her 3rd gymnastics recital. It was a great night!

Taylor can't wait for 4th grade! She's growing up way too fast for me, but I love every minute.

Carter's Baptism

First things first....could you get much cuter than this little guy? This is Carter just after he was baptized and confirmed a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I can't believe how fast the time goes...and there is definitely something about the age of 8. They just start to grasp things.

So, I have to record this story because....well, I love it. Back in January Carter attended a "It's Great to Be 8" program to prepare for his baptism. Our Bishop was speaking and asking everyone there to think of a superhero. Carter raised his hand high in the air and I couldn't wait to hear what he said....maybe Mr. Incredible? Batman? Phil Donahue for his early breakthrough in talk shows? No. He said, "MY MOM." That is my sweet boy for ya!!! (Now you see why I love that story?)

Here's another funny...the second after Carter was baptized and came up out of the water, Tate says loud enough for everyone to hear, "That was awwwesome!" And it was awesome.

Thank you to everyone who made it to Carter's special day. I know it meant a lot to Carter to have his family near him, and it meant a lot to us too.

Lastly, check out this sandwich. A shout-out to Steve's Krazy Subs for this bad boy. Yum!

Easterzzzzz 2009

So I can't just say "Easter" because the kids have been quoting Nacho Libre all week and the guy on the movie says "Easterz." Here's some pictures of the kiddos.

Scroll Down to Feb. 27th Post Please

I had my Birthday Memories saved as a draft and forgot to post it.

Happy Friday!

Tate's singing his version of Linkin Park's "In the End." I recorded him on my camera sideways because I am smart and thought I could flip it. I tried re-recording it later, but it just wasn't as pure, ya know? So, cock your heads to the right and Happy Friday!


While we're at it....how about some Disturbia?

Little Boys RULE!

Tate's Currency

All kids have their own currency. Tate's is Madelynn. I can get him to do ANYTHING if I tell him he can play with Madelynn. (Thanks Anne Marie for the amazing pic)

Scorpions! I'll Kill Ya!

So we have scorpions. I have lived in the deserts of Arizona now for 17 years and until we moved to this house had never seen a scorpion. This house was vacant for some time and it just happens to be on a scorpion infested corner. Before we moved in, we saw about 8 or 9. Willy was even stung by one in our back yard. We had my brother-in-law come out and spray (thanks Kelly!) and we only saw a few after that. And then I guess scorpions like to take a vacation from terrorizing people every November-February. Kind of like snowbirds if you will. Well, last night Willy was walking to the fridge and he was inches away from stepping on one! And I mean INCHES! It freaked us out so you can bet I was on the phone at 8:00 a.m. this morning calling the best scorpion killer in all the land! (Shout-out for Zero Tolerance Pest Control).

Anyway, the scorpion killer (Kris C) is here right this very minute. I'm so excited! He's doing a scorpion treatment, and then he comes back at night with his purple light because they are glow in the dark and kills some more! Hoo-hoo-ha-ha-ha! (That was my scary, evil laugh!) I hate scorpions! Kill them all! Kill 'em!

In preparation for him coming, I mopped all my floors (hate mopping). Then, I had to clean up the backyard which had about 57 balls and other toys scattered about. So, I'm working away picking up the balls when I decided to ask Tate for some help. He was just sitting there watching me...it seemed like a natural thing to do.

Me: Tate...come help Mama pick up your balls and toys.

Tate: Nah.

Me: Come on Tate. The scorpion killer is going to come spray in our yard. We don't want your toys and balls to get poison on them.

Tate: Nah. You don't really need my help. You are doing a GREAT job.

Is doing a crappy job the key to getting some help around here!?! Sheesh! The lil' stinker.

Birthday Memories

So, my birthday can get lost in February. We have have 8 family birthdays and by the time mine comes around on the 27th, I'm sick of cake and partied out. This year was a good one though. I'm just going to share a few birthday highlights...

1. Behold, Willy planned a night out. (That usually doesn't happen.) This year he surprised me with dinner reservations set up at Anzio's Landing, a babysitter and a massage appointment for me. Granted he did jack-diddly-squat on Valentine's until I ordered him to go buy me a card before the day was over (which he did get to me by 5:00 pm.) But, he really came through on my birthday this year and for that I am happy.

2. Sweet Taylor and Carter made me breakfast in bed and wrote precious cards.

3. My father-in-law got me this shirt. He told me it was a "Liz Claaaaiborneeee" shirt. I can just picture him at the thrift store picking it out for me. It's debatable if it's a woman's or man's shirt, but you know how it was in the 90's...it didn't matter.


3. My mother-in-law, Judy, called and requested I post her "Top 10" about yours truly. So it won't be too awkward posting a Top 10 about myself, let's pretend that she hijacked my blog. Here it goes: Hi, I'm Judy. I'm hijacking Leslie's blog. Here's what I love about her!

1. She can run a marathon with less effort than it takes me to walk to the back of WalMart.
2. She taught me how to make my own mexi-melts.
3. She hates getting anything under an "A" worse than I did.
4. She maintains that great smile that cost her parents so much money.
5. She remembers being a mom is more important than a career.
6. She knows waiting for quality is better than instant gratification.
7. A great atmosphere for learning is as important as the rest of her well-decorated house.
8. She loves me (I think) even though I'm forgetful and inconsiderate at times.
9. She loves and supports my son to be as good of a man he's trying to be.
10. She makes beautiful and smart grandchildren.

Thanks Judy...I really appreciate your kind thoughts, but don't ever hijack my blog again!

4. I ate lunch with my sister and mom at Joe's Farm Grill. Tate took the picture. Got the free lunch that they give you on your birthday but still ended up paying $11.84. How does that happen, you ask? It happens with my mother, Vickie. My brother says that once a shrimp taco a la carte cost $23.00 with her. Love you Mom!

5. My girls took care of me. I had a birthday lunch at Rubio's and a girls night out at California Pizza Kitchen. We also saw Confessions of a Shopaholic at the movies. May I just nominate that for an Oscar right now? It's right up there with....uh, poking my eyeballs out. I love my girls though....you know who you are. Thank you so much.

6. Last but not least, one of my pre-school students brought me this cake to school. He knew I loved Elmo. Need I say more? Thanks Brendan! My tongue was red for 3 days!

And that's all folks!