Future Author Alert: Part 2

Oh, this is great. I am still laughing out loud. Taylor just showed me some more correspondance that she has had with her "publisher."

PUBLISHER:

Dear Mr. Taylor Nikolaus,

How are things coming along with your manuscript? As agreed, here is our offer this August: (blah, blah)

Sincerely,
Mrs. Blah Blah

TAYLOR:

Dear Mrs. Blah Blah,

I'm sorry but I can't do this publishing thing. Third grade has started and it's too complicated. So sorry.

Sincerely,
Taylor Ann Nikolaus

P.S. I am a Miss not a Mr.

PUBLISHER:

Dear Ms. Taylor Nikolaus,

I apologize for the wrong salutation. Should you have more time to work on your book, just let me know.

Yours truly,

Mrs. Blah Blah

Lerks & Elf Poop

We went camping last weekend near Show Low. I don't mind camping...for one night, that is. I do it mostly because our kids love it. I do love a good tin foil dinner, s'mores, getting out of the desert heat, and the beautiful scenery. I don't love the stink all around me, sleeping on hard dirt and rocks, black smoke boogers, hungry bears, and again, the stink all around me. Anyway, we had a great time with Willy's family. Here are a couple of pictures of our car ride there:
I had the following conversation with my sweet 3-year-old today:

Tate: Mom. 'Member when we saw de lerk?

Me: What? The lerk?

Tate: Yeah, de lerk wiff de elf poop.

Me: Say what? Lerk and elf poop?

Tate: Yeah! (getting frustrated) When we went camping, we saw de lerk wiff de big horns and de elf poop!

Me: Oh yes. The elk and the elk poop. Yes, I remember.

We did see a few elk on our drive out of camp as well as some elf, I mean elk poop, on our hike earlier that day. I love kids...you never know what sticks with them.

Did You Say a Dwarf?

I love to run. I absolutely love signing up for races. It's a chance to set a goal and physically and mentally push yourself. It feels so great to work so hard. Then, when race day arrives, it is just a blast with all of the adrenaline and fellow runners. It's kind of addicting. I've often joked with friends that once you get to the race, every other runner becomes your best friend. You find yourself being so friendly with each other with encouragement, high fives and so forth...it's like you've known the stranger next to you your whole life. (Not cool when they start talking about their hysterectomy.)

I signed up for my fourth half marathon in Flagstaff, AZ (3 hrs away) with my good friend Christine Olsen. She had a baby about 6 months ago and wanted to use this race to get back into the swing of things. We booked a hotel in Flagstaff and hauled our families up for our big day. Poor Willy...he's always such a good sport.

I really felt a blog post coming on with this one. I could barely contain myself; I was so ready to type! Where do I begin?

Okay, Christine booked our hotel on the Internet. All I have to say is FALSE ADVERTISING! Foul smelling, 1955 popcorn ceiling with leaky water bubbles, bathtubs with...uh...hair that's not on your head...you name it.

Here's her daughter Paige and Taylor in front of it. Can you say, "Norman Bates?" Oh, we got a kick out of it. But this is the best part...

Every runner knows that it is very important to get a good night's sleep the day before a race. This is a clip from the door of our room at the beautiful and peaceful view of the infamous Route 66.


Here are some other highlights:

1. We woke up at 5:45 a.m. to get to the race that started at 7:00 a.m. Oops...just kidding. The race started at 7:30 a.m. One hour to kill. They weren't even all the way set up!

2. We needed to use the port-a-potty before the race. We stood in line. I totally opened one up THAT WAS GREEN AND UNLOCKED only to find a grandma squatting yelling, "HEY!!!" Do people think those port-a-potties lock themselves? The only thing that made me feel better was that she cut in line. I know...a grandma cutting?....c'mon.

3. The race was on a trail up a mountain. We climbed 1000 feet in the squishy mud with rocks everywhere. The elevation definitely got to us too, and we had to slow down a bit. I had to check my competitive side at the door and just enjoy the ride. Christine makes it easier to do that.

4. At mile 4, an old high school friend was volunteering. When we saw him, we realized that we were lagging behind a bit. In an attempt to make excuses for ourselves, I pointed to Christine and said, "SHE JUST HAD A BABY!" And she yelled, "SHE IS BACK HERE BECAUSE OF ME!" Why must we feel we have to make excuses? Two words....HIGH SCHOOL.

5. An hour later than expected, we crossed that Finish Line. One of the best things for me is seeing my family cheering and welcoming me, although they had been waiting there awhile!Christine and I had a great time though with no pressure, beautiful scenery, and great conversation.

6. Now this is where I am bewildered. Out of 135 people (in all age groups, mind you) Christine and I ended up 133 and 134! WHAT!? Oh, it gets better. Willy said that a couple of old ladies (65+ years) came in before us...and they were walking! Oh, it gets better. Christine's husband, Brian, said that he saw a handicapped person cross...(here comes the climax) AND A DWARF! I didn't even see a dang dwarf. Those little legs must have been cruising! I've run many races...I can't say I've EVER been beaten by a dwarf. That's just wrong...it's WRONG!

So, yes, my competitive side along with some pride has been tarnished. However, on the bright side, it was a great way to run a race...with a wonderful friend, beautiful scenery and a dwarf.

Beloved School

Back to school again! Taylor and Carter were SO EXCITED! Is it because I couldn't keep them sufficiently entertained this summer? Did they grow tired of being my maid? Or, is it because they just plain love school and are yearning to grow? Whatever it was, I am happy they enjoy school so much. Tate is not so excited to see them go. He loved having them around, and hopefully he won't be too bored. Is he too young to scrub my baseboards? How about toilets?

Taylor is starting 3rd Grade. She was completely ready to go (with her room cleaned and bed made) 1 hour before we had to leave. She proudly calls herself a "School Nerd."

Carter is going into 2nd Grade. I really wanted him to wear one of his new outfits, but he insisted on his "Hoopsville" shirt. I'll save that battle for School Picture Day.

Mostly today I just feel grateful and extremely blessed to be the mother of these 3 amazing souls. I hope they know how much I enjoyed them this summer, and how much I truly love being their mom. As the saying goes, "It seems like just yesterday..."

Sumthin in Mah Teef?

I know that this kind of thing has happened to everyone at least once in their lives, right? It happened to me on Monday at lunch with some old friends. The thing that gets my grill is that I'm one of those people that is SO careful about this kind of catastrophe. When I used to work and go out to lunch everyday with co-workers or even clients, my friend Melissa and I would always do a "TC" check on each other. She started it. It took me a while to figure out what "TC" stood for. FYI, it stands for "Teeth Check", not "Take Care", not "Traffic Control", not "Tom Cruise."

Well, Monday I went to lunch in Scottsdale with some old high school friends, Shannon and Jean. (Had a great time girls...loved seeing you!) Although I am a confident, mature adult now, and it has been 14 years since we graduated, I still found myself a little hyper for lunch. Perhaps I even reverted back to a few high school behaviors when I asked Willy what I should wear THE NIGHT BEFORE and put on 3 different outfits the day of. I even felt a little giddy before I left...kind of in a BFF mode, ya know? I hadn't seen these gals in a while, and who can blame me for wanting to look my best? These are our Senior pictures...we still look the same. Don't shake your head. Yes, we do look the same.

Alright. So we ordered salad as an appetizer. Ate it. It was goooooood! Then, we began eating our entrees. We are having the normal catch-up conversation, then we delve into some more serious topics. I offer up my story (which was a good one) when Jean interrupts me and says, "Wait! Before you go any further, you have a little something in your teeth! I think it's salad." Shannon nods her head, "Yeah, I was going to say something, but I wanted to just see if it would go away on its own."

What??? Not me! Salad was like 20 minutes ago!

Then, I started my interrogating. "WHY? Why me?" "How long have you known about this?" "Why didn't you say anything when it happened?" "Were you going to let me go through the whole lunch like this?" "What about the universal sign language of pretending to pick something out of your own teeth to let my subconscious know that I have something in mine?"

I then proceeded to suck water up through my straw, spraying my own teeth, if you will, just like the dentist onto the affected area. Didn't work. I then had to squeeze my straw together to scrape that bugger out. It was a stubborn piece of lettuce.

This whole thing got me thinking about awkward situations like this, so I'm posing a question. If you have something in your teeth, or a cliff hanger, or a zit that needs a poppin', or dried snot on the side of your cheek, or lip stick on your teeth, or your breast milk is leaking through your nursing pad, etc..., do you want the person you are with to tell you, or do you want them to pretend they don't see it and carry on? In addition, would YOU tell someone, or would you not want to embarrass them? What do y'all think?

4th of July...Show Low Style

Fourth of July is one of my favorite holidays. We almost always spend the 4th up in the White Mountains of Show Low, AZ. We love spending time with family, especially when we leave behind 115 degree heat.Every year we watch the Show Low Parade, but this year we were in it. (I'm sure you'll find a way to deal with your jealousy.) Willy's late Grandpa Nikolaus was the first Mayor of Show Low and his family had the first grocery store--Nick's Market. Grandma Nikolaus wanted her family in the parade this year to honor Grandpa Nikolaus and Nick's Market as part of Show Low's heritage. Just seeing how happy she was made pushing a shopping cart 3 miles, in flip flops, with a temperamental toddler, worth it...just take a look at this cutie sitting in her chair with her umbrella, riding in the float.

We definitely had some high points. It was great to see my kids be the ones throwing the candy rather than receiving. They were making a conscience effort to look for kids that weren't getting the goods. And let's face it, when do you ever walk in a small town parade unless you're sporting the coveted title of Rodeo Queen? Like that's going to happen. We also had a few low points. This one is obvious.This one, not so obvious. Sorry everybody...we wish eggs were still that cheap. We spent the rest of the day eating and relaxing at a pond/picnic place and riding quads.
The rest of the aftermoon and evening were filled with sun, row boats, more food, fun, fireworks and Aunt Buffy's puppy chow. How do we top a day like that?

Future Author Alert

What do you want to be when you grow up? Many kids respond with the classics...doctor, fireman, policeman, insurance agent, Wal-Mart greeter, etc....

Taylor has always had a wild imagination. When Taylor was 3, she wanted to be a "seashell hunter." That stemmed from going to the beach and collecting shells. When she was 4, she wanted to be an "artist-mommy." I think that stemmed from me sitting down with her to draw.

Ever since Kindergarten, she has told everyone that she is going to be an author some day. She loves to read and write--both activities of choice. She has about 18 notebooks and a few binders and folders that she fills with her stories. She proudly calls herself a nerd. This girl has got ambition and drive when it comes to this subject. I used to just smile and listen and of course praise her, but now I'm beginning to believe that this is not just a phase. I've never seen an 8 year old want something that much. I think she just may be an author some day.

During the last year, I have been asked countless times by Taylor as to how one gets a story published. I've given her a few simple explanations such as...

1. Find a publisher

2. Send in your manuscript

3. If they like it, they publish it. They pay you.

I figured that this explanation would be enough for an 8-year-old. One day when I was asked yet another question regarding who the youngest author ever to be published, I replied, "I don't know! Go GOOGLE it!"

She did. He's 8.

"Hmmm," she thinks, "I'm 8."

So of course, this gives her a great idea. She is not going to be an author someday but rather today. She then proceeded to GOOGLE publishers. She found a couple which she told me about. I gave her permission to request some information. She got some pamphlets in the mail and was so excited. However, when I read through her stuff, all the publishers required a hefty fee. She was a bit disappointed by that, but didn't give up. I told her we could type a story up, draw pictures ourselves, and go to Kinko's. Oh no. It has to be a real publisher. She shared one of her emails with me the other night, and I about wet myself. Below is an abridged email between a publishing sales agent and verbatim email by Taylor.

Dear Taylor Nikolaus,
Thank you for recently contacting Blah Blah Blah and requesting a publishing kit. My name is Ms. Blah Blah. (Then we have a sales pitch along with some other info.) Do you have a manuscript ready to publish? Please check out our website to download the necessary forms.
Sincerely,
Ms. Blah Blah

Dear Ms. Blah Blah,
Yes. I have one small book that I might publish. I would like a small list of some of the books you have published. Do you think you could do that? Thanks!
Sincerely,
Taylor Nikolaus
P.S. My mom wants me to tell you that I'm 8 years old.

Okay. What 8-year-old says things like that?!

Dear Taylor Nikolaus,
Thank you for taking the time to write back. What is the book you are working on about? (More sales pitch) Since your mom asked you to let me know of your age, am I correct to assume that she has agreed to pay so your book can be published?
Sincerely,
Ms. Blah Blah
Sales & Marketing Department

So did I mention that this company requires $600-$12,000 to publish a book? Maybe I should sell my kidney Ms. Blah Blah. I don't know about you, but when I was 8, I was playing hop scotch, freeze tag and occasionally making my Barbie and Ken kiss...on the lips...with sound effects.

One thing is for sure, and that is that this little girl has determination. Hopefully she will remember the little people.