Monday, August 11, 2008

Did You Say a Dwarf?

I love to run. I absolutely love signing up for races. It's a chance to set a goal and physically and mentally push yourself. It feels so great to work so hard. Then, when race day arrives, it is just a blast with all of the adrenaline and fellow runners. It's kind of addicting. I've often joked with friends that once you get to the race, every other runner becomes your best friend. You find yourself being so friendly with each other with encouragement, high fives and so forth...it's like you've known the stranger next to you your whole life. (Not cool when they start talking about their hysterectomy.)

I signed up for my fourth half marathon in Flagstaff, AZ (3 hrs away) with my good friend Christine Olsen. She had a baby about 6 months ago and wanted to use this race to get back into the swing of things. We booked a hotel in Flagstaff and hauled our families up for our big day. Poor Willy...he's always such a good sport.

I really felt a blog post coming on with this one. I could barely contain myself; I was so ready to type! Where do I begin?

Okay, Christine booked our hotel on the Internet. All I have to say is FALSE ADVERTISING! Foul smelling, 1955 popcorn ceiling with leaky water bubbles, bathtubs with...uh...hair that's not on your head...you name it.

Here's her daughter Paige and Taylor in front of it. Can you say, "Norman Bates?" Oh, we got a kick out of it. But this is the best part...

Every runner knows that it is very important to get a good night's sleep the day before a race. This is a clip from the door of our room at the beautiful and peaceful view of the infamous Route 66.


Here are some other highlights:

1. We woke up at 5:45 a.m. to get to the race that started at 7:00 a.m. Oops...just kidding. The race started at 7:30 a.m. One hour to kill. They weren't even all the way set up!

2. We needed to use the port-a-potty before the race. We stood in line. I totally opened one up THAT WAS GREEN AND UNLOCKED only to find a grandma squatting yelling, "HEY!!!" Do people think those port-a-potties lock themselves? The only thing that made me feel better was that she cut in line. I know...a grandma cutting?....c'mon.

3. The race was on a trail up a mountain. We climbed 1000 feet in the squishy mud with rocks everywhere. The elevation definitely got to us too, and we had to slow down a bit. I had to check my competitive side at the door and just enjoy the ride. Christine makes it easier to do that.

4. At mile 4, an old high school friend was volunteering. When we saw him, we realized that we were lagging behind a bit. In an attempt to make excuses for ourselves, I pointed to Christine and said, "SHE JUST HAD A BABY!" And she yelled, "SHE IS BACK HERE BECAUSE OF ME!" Why must we feel we have to make excuses? Two words....HIGH SCHOOL.

5. An hour later than expected, we crossed that Finish Line. One of the best things for me is seeing my family cheering and welcoming me, although they had been waiting there awhile!Christine and I had a great time though with no pressure, beautiful scenery, and great conversation.

6. Now this is where I am bewildered. Out of 135 people (in all age groups, mind you) Christine and I ended up 133 and 134! WHAT!? Oh, it gets better. Willy said that a couple of old ladies (65+ years) came in before us...and they were walking! Oh, it gets better. Christine's husband, Brian, said that he saw a handicapped person cross...(here comes the climax) AND A DWARF! I didn't even see a dang dwarf. Those little legs must have been cruising! I've run many races...I can't say I've EVER been beaten by a dwarf. That's just wrong...it's WRONG!

So, yes, my competitive side along with some pride has been tarnished. However, on the bright side, it was a great way to run a race...with a wonderful friend, beautiful scenery and a dwarf.

25 comments:

New Lewis Happenings said...

I have tears rolling down my face from laughing so hard!! You crack me up!!!

Andrea said...

Haha... that ending was great, I let out a couple of snorts! 65 year olds and a dwarf?? What??? They had to have took an alternative route! That was awesome! I think I would've slept outside rather than in that hotel! I seriously get the hebe jeebies in most hotels. I think that one qualified as a MO-tel though! :)

Turley Family said...

Hey! I was checking out Jen Jarvis' blog and saw your's and I had to check it out. I love your hotel room picture....I think I might of slept in my car instead of sleeping there. One of these days I will have to join you in a marathon. I can't wait to start running again!

Amy said...

I have tears streaming down my face too. THat is just too hilarious - are you sure you ran the route or were you off in the forest somewhere? I am sure that is the reason - you just took the long way. Nasty nasty hotel. Congrats on being able to run though - I think I made it a mile once. xoxo-Amy

JBPacker said...

I am laughing so hard that I may pee my pants a little. You are just so honest. Come on you have to know that Flagstaff is a total hole. I haven't laughed that hard in a while. Some runs are good and some runs are not so good. It can be really hard to have an audience. Dwarf or no Dwarf I still think you are awesome.

sheri rog said...

so dang funny! that grandma sittin' on the pot wasn't the one that beat you was she? and that train was a riot, although i have to say that hotel looked better than the hotel (crackhouse) kelly & i had to stay in after we got married. thanks for the great laugh. i so very much needed it!

p.s. i think they want to be called "little people" now don't they? or is that just midgets? (it's hard to keep up with all the pc terms these days)

Ü

sheri rog said...

i am soooo going to h***, aren't i?

Jen said...

Hi, I'm Jessie's sis in law and love to run too. She sent me over here and I'm glad she did! That was too funny! I thought being passed by a stroller being pushed by a pregnant lady was bad, but this might be worse! Loved your race report!

Emily said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sara said...

yep. me, too! I laughed 'til I cried.

coca-cola angela said...

Ok that train going by ALL night! What a nightmare. Even if you came in last it's still better than all of us who didn't run it. So congrats for that sista!

♥Tami said...

Sooo Funny!!! I would have been #200 out of 135. Congrats on even finishing it. Events you'll never forget, that's what makes it so fun!

The Crown Lacey Family said...

I just want to brag that I bet it was running with me that got you so motiviated to run in 4 half-marathons (holy cow girl!) :)

Who cars that a little person and some retirees came in a head of you... I bet you were having a much better time and much better conversation :)

Stevens said...

Leslie - you have a great blog! I love your stories. They are so true to life and I could just imagine this happening to me. Don't worry, someday you'll be that old lady passing the young whipper-snappers (and just possibly the dwarfs!) Maybe when you get there that early next time, you should just go ahead and start running, you know get a head start...

Lyndsay said...

Me, you, and Em need to plan a race together sometime- maybe in Vegas or St. George? Those 2 hours would fly by with all of our reminiscing!

Turley Family said...

I love it! I couldn't stop laughing! What a great stroy...a dwarf..I can't believe it!

Jenefer said...

This is the best think I have read all week, possibly all year? That's a real compliment considering I am 117 pages into Breaking Dawn! I love your FABULOUS sense of humor...and yes I am with you on the selected name of the roller coaster. Somebody know what they were doing in that one.

Melissa Stadler said...

One of the top 10 funniest stories to come out of your mouth ever! You know that you should be a writer. I love reading your blog my friend!
You are superstar runner Les even when you get lapped by a dwarf. You are the best!

Lainie said...

They like to be called "little people". You crack me up!!

Lara said...

oh so funny! Hey at least you guys did it, and that's more than I could say for myself! {unless they come up with some stationary race with ellipticals...I could totally come in like number 125 or something!}

Debbie said...

Great job finishing the race, and hey some of us wouldn't even bother signing up!
Besides, it's good to set goals, now you can try next time to beat the "little person."

Jay Mo said...

I'm soooo glad I found your blog...I lost your address. Love your blog you always seem to crack me up!

Rohan Shearer said...

So who came in last? The grandma you interrupted on the toilet? Maybe it took her longer than expected as well and she was late to the start? Great story!

DeAnne Baum said...

I love reading your stories! You have my vote for being a number 1 writer and story teller! I seriously can't stop laughing. Oh, how I feel like I could see all of this taking place! The details are great. Thanks for the laugh.

Emily said...

Okay, I've finally read your post of the dwarf! I am laughing my head off! I wonder what your husbands were thinking when you didn't show and there were grandmas and dwarfs crossing the finish line before any sign of their wives! Prime of your life and proportionate legs! What?