Me and the Naked Lady

Lately I've been enjoying the sauna at my gym. After my workout, I will spend 10-20 minutes in the sauna...thinking, relaxing, excreting the toxins from my body. It's very nice, and I feel great afterwards.

Today in the sauna it was me and the naked lady. She was stark-naked...nadda...in the raw...except for her flip-flops. HUH? Here's what I don't get...the North and South were fully exposed, yet she felt the need for flip-flops. Why? Don't get it.

Here's another thing I don't get. Why do people think they can walk around the locker room au natural? If you have to change your clothes or take a shower, that's a different story. That's what locker rooms are for. But why prance around the locker room naked? USE A TOWEL! Even worse is the sauna.

Back to naked lady...so I walk in the sauna and just gasped. It's not like I haven't seen the upstairs and downstairs of a naked lady before. Afterall, I, myself, am a lady. Heck, I see naked ladies all the time in the locker room. The weird thing was that it was just she and I in the sauna. Yep, just me and the naked lady. It's a first for me...sitting next to a naked lady...so casually. It just kind of summons an awkward moment.

Do I look at her? If I don't, it will be obvious that I'm feeling weird. However, if I do acknowledge her, is she going to think I'm staring at her, checking her out? Is that what she wants? I guess I could have just left, but I wanted to relax! So, I sat huddled in a fetal position in the corner realizing that there would be no possible way to relax with a naked lady lying down right in front of me! I decided to just close my eyes and go to that "special place."

I know you are wondering 2 things.
1) Did I look at her? Of course I did. Curiosity always kills the cat.
2) Was she a hot girl? No. She should never have been naked.

Tate's Worst Nightmare

Yep. That's her...Tate's worst nightmare. You may recognize Yzma from The Emperor's New Groove. It just cracks me up that Tate is so scared of her. How can he be scared of this cartoon purple, skinny lady? He's even turned to a Higher Power in his prayers and asked for help to not dream of Yzma. He doesn't blink an eye at Darth Vader, Darth Maul, or the dude on Indiana Jones who rips a man's heart out. I don't get it. Yzma???

Welcome to My World

Carter and Tate were sitting down at the table tonight doing some homework. Carter was working on his math, and Tate was practicing writing his name. I was lucky enough to witness this hilarious yet insightful conversation between the two of them.

Tate (under his breath): Ahhhh, this is so boring.

Carter (monotone): Welcome to my world.

Tate: Man, this is reduckulous.

Looks like they have it pretty much figured out. That's all. The End. Good-bye.

Let's Pretend It Is Still the First Day of School...

Can my little girl really be in 4th grade? Taylor is one of those kids that looks forward to school and often requests additional homework. Huh??? (I'll give you a few seconds to recover.)Summer is entirely too boring for her. The day before school started she couldn't even fall asleep because she was so excited. You would've thought it was Christmas Eve for crying out loud. She just LOVES school that much.

Here's my little stud boy getting ready for his 3rd grade year. Carter likes school too...however, he likes SEVERAL things more than school. He's a busy little guy this year playing baseball, soccer and going to Scouts. He is tuckered out when he gets home but still the sweetest kid ever.

Tate and I are really missing these two chicken nuggets during the day. It's always a happy time when they walk in the door. They are really growing up. As much as I try to savor the moments, I am in constant awe of their growth, development and transformation into the wonderful little people they are becoming. Being a mom has got to be the best gift I could ever think of.

First Day of Preschool

It was Tate's first day of preschool today. No, it is not his preschool setting in the background...that would be my preschool. If you'll remember, he has been expelled from my preschool. Instead he is going 3 days a week to Miss Juliette--and he is one excited, grown-up little boy. Except for that he loves his whoobie (or ragged piece of material).

I did let him know that he could NOT bring "Whoobie" to preschool. He is saying his final good-bye for the day. One day I'm going to do a post on just Whoobie.

Here he is getting out of his sweet ride.

Note to self: Next year refrain from the Crystal Light Fruit Punch.

Who knew I was going to miss my little companion so much? I flippin' love this kid.

Labors of Love

Flowers, cards, emails, texts, yummy dinners and goodies, help with kids, visits, thoughtful gifts, words of comfort, cleaning ladies sent over to clean my house (which started as a gift given by my friend Julie, but will now be a monthly bill for Willy...it was just too great), flowers planted along my walkway by Annie and Jen, all of the many prayers offered in our behalf...thank you all.

August 6th - Crew's Day

Yesterday we lost our sweet baby. He was born at 19 1/2 weeks on August 6th. We have been calling him Crew, and we will continue to do so. He is our Crew, and he was precious.

We came home from the hospital last night. Sleep felt so good. When I woke up early this morning, panic set in and the pain from the previous day picked up right where it left off from the night before. I so wanted to go back to sleep but couldn't.

I could write all of this in my own journal because it is so personal, but I don't care. This is about our family, and it is real, and I honor Crew Nikolaus with this post. I am doing this for a much needed outlet for myself and for my family.

The last 2 days have reached pain beyond my imagination. I have always believed that the Lord does not give us anything more than we can bare. Although I still know that deep down, I have questioned it many times in the last 24 hours. Right now this feels like so much more than I can bare.

Having said that, I am aware of the outpouring of love that surrounds me as well as my family. Family and friends have been answers to my heart's silent prayers in the last 2 days. In this grief, I have felt my Father in Heaven's love for me and know that He is real. I was sitting in the hospital bed yesterday crying and searching for things in my head that I knew and that made sense to me. I am going to record those things that spoke to my heart because I don't want to forget them, and I know I may as time passes.

1. Love is a husband who spends 28 hours by his wife's side in a hospital room, who is able to give her a blessing of healing and comfort, whose touch on her leg speaks words of love and assurance....and through his own grief, he finds the strength to be what she needs.

2. Willy and I have been privileged to have 3 beautiful miracles walking on this earth. Sweet Taylor, Carter and Tate. What blessings they are in our lives. There is a new fight/resolve in my heart to be a better mom, to love them more, and to make sure they know what I know about the Plan of Salvation and who Jesus Christ really is. I know that there will be a day when we are joined by our little Crew, and my heart can't wait.

3. Families pull together during times like these. My sweet sister, Jenny, stayed with the kids Wednesday and Thursday and loved them like no other. I have felt tremendous love from my parents, Bryan & Rachel, Jeff, and all of my in-laws. I have felt their prayers, and I love each of them.

4. Heavenly Father sends strength and love to those in need through His angels on earth. A week ago at my ultrasound when we found out something could be wrong, they scheduled me to see a specialist. The soonest they could get me in anywhere was 2 weeks...it seemed like a lifetime to wait and worry. However, I was able to have an ultrasound on Wednesday the 5th by my dear friend, Jenn. It was with Jenn that we discovered that the potential bad news learned the previous week had turned into horrifying news...Crew had no heartbeat. His chord had become twisted and kinked, and he was not getting food. I CANNOT even imagine sharing that horrendous moment with a stranger. How blessed I feel that I could cry with a friend whom I love. Again, there is no doubt that it was my Heavenly Father's hand. He did not allow me to go through that with a stranger.

5. I came home from that awful afternoon and pulled into the garage. Not even 2 minutes later there was a knock on my door from our Bishop. He listened and gave words of comfort that I know came from above...and looking back, were crucial to that exact moment.

6. Dear, dear friends are invaluable. I've had visits, dinners, emails, babysitting offers, phone calls and countless texts from loved ones that have lifted me if but for a moment. There are no words to describe the gratitude I feel for that as well as the comfort in knowing help is out there.

7. At the hospital, I was in the absolute best care possible....Dr. Huish, my two incredible nurses, Toni and Rakay, my amazing anesthesiologist, Barbara, were unbelievably incredible and understanding and heaven-sent.

8. Lastly, and this is the hardest...this was by far my most difficult pregnancy. I was sick like I've never been, even up until the night before delivery. And, this has been by far the most painful and difficult experience I have faced in my whole life. What I do know though is that I would do it all again for the opportunity to help give Crew's heavenly spirit a body. I LOVE him. We love him.

I didn't know how I was going to cope and make it through the last 24 hours, but it happened. I really don't know how I am going to make it through today, tomorrow or next week either, but I know that somehow it will happen. I know that I am not alone, and that I'm being watched over. And that, is the most priceless knowledge.