I Smell Bacon

Cops. It's a love-hate thing. We love them as they uphold the law, make our communities safe, risk their lives, lock up bad guys, stand out in the hot sun directing traffic, and all of the millions of other things they do to serve us. However, we hate them when all of the sudden we become the bad guy. You know what I'm talking about. I'm sure we have a couple of speed demons who are reading this...a couple of lead-foot shebas who have been ticketed once or twice. And you know how they get us. They find a remote spot to pull their car offroad. Some may even cover their cars with greenery or artificial plants and twigs from Michaels. There they wait, lurking, slouched in their cop seats just waiting...waiting...waiting with their little laser beam gun...waiting to ZAP us as we drive by. Yes, you know what I'm talking about. Then it seems we forget about all the good they do.

Well, yesterday I really questioned myself as a mother. What am I teaching my kids to think about our fellow officers?

I was on my way to a baptism at our church. Willy was already there, and I was running a tad bit late with the kids. I ran out the door without my purse (and without my double lazy-eye license). In short, I was in a hurry and was driving fast. I was about 1/4 mile away from the church turn off when THERE I saw him. He was purched on the edge of the road like a little vulture waiting to pounce.

I instinctively slammed on the brakes, not so smooth either. I was still feeling pretty good about my reflexes going from 55 mph to 45 mph that quickly...until of course, I saw the 35 mph sign. I knew he got me. I saw his tires inch forward. Oooh, I had to think fast.

Back in the day, I've gotten out of a few tickets. One time the cop that pulled me over was in my single's ward and liked my friend. That was easy. Hey Occifer. I got something you want; you've got something I want. I'll arrange something with Emily, and you just put that little pad right back in your pocket. It's not so easy now...not as many resources with 3 kids in the backseat, ya know?

Lucky for me, Mr. Copper had to make a left turn to follow me. He couldn't do it right away because of traffic. So...I quickly pulled into the church and quick-as-the-speed-of-light zipped to the back of church where I would be hidden from the road. At that point, I yelled to my sweet, impressionable kids, "GET OUT OF THE CAR! HURRY! HURRY! RUN! GET INTO THE CHURCH! RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIIVES!" Boy, was I panting! And boy, were my kids wide-eyed!

No ticket for me though. I'm not sure if he just gave up, realized that he was up against a professional, or went for a donut.

Still, it is kind of ironic. I was going to a baptism at church and running like a fugitive at the same time. I hope my kids aren't too damaged by my hypocrisy.